No Sex Before Marriage? That Ain’t Gonna Happen!
I can just hear the screams of protest when people in our culture hear that the Bible makes it very clear that sex is for a HUSBAND and WIFE….and for no one else. That means before the marriage ceremony as well as after the marriage ceremony and excludes everyone except that one man and one woman in every definition of sexual activity. Any questions?
It really is a pretty straight forward command from God’s Word. But you can ask the question “WHY”.
It all comes back to those two important Greatest Fears of Men and of Women! There is never going to be a time when the woman (wife, girlfriend, spouse, partner or best friend) will be 100% certain that she is completely, totally, unconditionally, unreservedly, unquestionably, undeniably and permanently loved for who she is and not what she is.
Men (husbands, dudes, spouse-persons) Are You Paying Attention?
You are going to be living with this person for your entire life. Hopefully that is a long time. In sixty or seventy years of married life, what is six months of time? Not much in proportion to the length of a lifetime. Now, when you are 19 years old and someone says, “No, you cannot have sex until you are married in six months”, it sounds like FOREVER! Whatever time we must wait until the wedding is way too long for any man, except. (Here is where you MUST start LISTENING!) It is way too long for anyone except the man who wants to give his new bride the very best wedding present of her entire life!…a guilt-free conscience. It is too long for everyone except the man who sees his one chance to be a winner in the eyes of his wife…for as long as he lives! It is not too long for someone who sees joy and admiration in the eyes of his precious one every day!
You will never have a second chance to give her a clean conscience again! You will never in your entire lifetime, give her a chance to witness how strongly you love her for who she is and not what she is after you enter your marriage! You have the power to show her the kind of man you are when you make a commitment and stick to it! To show your new wife that you love her not for the sexual favors she gives you, but for the person she is and the extraordinary value you find in her! Think about what kind of lifetime return on your investment that will bring!
Women, This Applies to You as Well
Are you afraid that if you don’t let him have sexual relations that he will find someone who will? The Bible says that every wife needs to be loved with so much conviction that she knows that her husband would never harm her or abandon her. That is your emotional blueprint. I’m not “punishing” you for having a fear within you of being left alone and unloved. You already had that fear when you were born with two x-chromosomes. God gave you that need so some man who wants you to be unconditionally happy will find every way he can think of to show you how much he loves you! Don’t buy into the concept what this society teaches, that only a woman who allows sex before marriage will find someone who will really love her!! It is a LIE! The truth is just the opposite! Only if a man has reached a level of maturity where he can control his hormones long enough to make a life-long covenant with you, to love you without limits, regardless of what may happen in the future between you, is worthy of your respect. There are many men who will fail this test and there will be relationships that are formed without obeying this command.
For those marriages both people need to dedicate themselves to an even more difficult task; ask forgiveness from God, ask for, and give, forgiveness to each other, and then set out to live from this point on in obedience to God’s commands. Life, with forgiveness, can be wonderful. It will be different from the relationship where people followed God’s plan, but God is faithful to do what He says He will do. And God’s Word says, we can have His Forgiveness.
Think carefully, you only get to make this decision once.