The Greatest Fear of Women and the Greatest Fear of Men

The Bible tells us that there are deep, abiding fears with each person.  They were created inside of each of us to help us become loving partners.  These are not weaknesses or character flaws that must be ignored, denied or covered up. They are part of that great divine creation called marriage.  You can read about it in Genesis 2:24 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.”  Why do they want to become one flesh?  GOD created them to need each other.

Some People See A Need As A “Weakness”

It is not a weakness to be exploited.  These deepest fears are set inside of each person at their creation.  It is what causes the gut ache that we know when there is no one to make the fear go away.  These are the fears that spring up late at night and keep us awake for hours.  These are the thoughts that keep rotating around and around inside our heads that we just can’t keep from obsessing about.  They call out to us to find someone to make the fear go away.  We search for that person who can make us feel okay.  I have seen individuals stay in relationships that were not really loving because it was still better than living without anyone to help them feel safe!

No Shortcuts Allowed

Some people try to shortcut the information.  They read about their own fear and think, “Ok, now I understand why that fear has been bugging me.”  They leave the discussion without realizing the purpose of the articles is to learn about the fear of the other person!  So be sure to read all of the articles related to the Greatest Fears.

I have been teaching these lessons since the late 1970’s.  I have taken many dozens of couples through these sessions.   I have seen the same thing happen through all of those years.  Women will eagerly hear about their Greatest Fear but will hardly remember the Greatest Fear of their husband!   Men, in their own way, will nod their heads when I teach about their Greatest Fear but can not remember their wife’s Greatest Fear within hours of the end of our session.  Why is this?

We are pretty much aware of our own Greatest Fear.  But remember, we were created to satisfy the Greatest Fear of our spouse!  Those fears of the other person are unfamiliar to us.  They seem strange or weird.  What they require us to do in response seems uncomfortable.  It may even seem unpleasant.  Many have tried to tell me that satisfying those Greatest Fears of the other are simply “unnecessary”.  They found out that they were wrong.

Read the next articles with the purpose of “burning the deepest fear of my spouse into my mind”.  Make it stick.  Rehearse it in your head.  Say it back to yourself to confirm you can make it into your own words.  Listen to yourself and see if you really understand.

The happiness of your spouse is dependent upon what you do in response to learning about their Greatest Fear.

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