The Bible says in the fifth chapter of Ephesians that the Greatest Fear of women is that they will be left alone and unloved….rejected.  This can take several forms. This fear can be that the woman remains married but will be ignored or isolated.  In its worst form of her fear, she will be used, abused and abandoned.  They believe that their partner, whom they have chosen to love and depend upon, will eventually tire of the relationship and find excitement or satisfaction elsewhere.  They are fearful that they will have wasted their affection and commitment.  In fact, they will be left without resources, without options, and finally without hope.

Confirmation of Fear by Society

The circumstances of modern day life tend to confirm these fears of abandonment.  Just look around at the vast numbers of single family homes, and you will see that these fears are often confirmed.  Look at any supermarket tabloid and you will see story after story of infidelity and betrayal by public figures.  And there they sit all lined up along the checkout lanes reminding every single woman who shops for the family of how “everyone is being betrayed”.  I have reminded husbands hundreds of times, that their wives have taken a much larger risk in allowing themselves to love this man than the husband has taken in loving his wife.  Some have tried to argue against my statement but most have finally accepted it as true.  All you have to do is look at our society to see the devastation, the cost to our economy, and the resources that the schools and institutions must carry because there are not husbands and fathers living within the homes.

Confirmation of Fear by Physical Necessity

Through the years Activists have tried to promote the equality of man and woman.  No one can ignore the reality that differences exist between the two.  The differences don’t elevate one gender above another but it is blind to ignore the fact that there are differences. The simple fact remains, that a pregnancy may be inconvenient for a man who must, by law, provide some sort of support, but it can be devastating to the woman who has more than financial problems to deal with.  While the man can go on with a life style that may seem unchanged, the woman must carry the responsibility for modifying every element of her lifestyle to conform to the needs of the unborn child.  The delivery of the child does not bring an end to the responsibilities the woman has to handle, even if she gives the child up for adoption.  She becomes a different person as she faces the possibilities and problems of motherhood.  It is very difficult to grasp the magnitude of this fear for someone who has never faced the reality of being alone and unloved while being pregnant or caring for small children.  This is the definition of “desperation” we find in every village and town.  And every woman is afraid she will be abandoned and unloved even before she reaches this point.

The Solution Comes from a Genuine Love

This deepest of all fears of being unloved and alone is the “created need” that God places within the heart of all women so they will be drawn toward their husbands.  God’s Word commands that a husband must love his wife with the very same intensity and commitment as Jesus Christ loves his Church and would allow himself to be tortured and beaten before any harm or injury would be inflicted on his people. The Bible sets a very high standard for the men’s performance.  We, as husbands, are the solution to the fears that our wives face every day of their lives to one extent or another.  We must demonstrate our love to the point that the fear is pushed back into the dark corners of her life every day.  The simple fact remains that a person cannot live with their deepest fears constantly in the forefront of their minds and still be able to enjoy a happy life.

Jesus Christ told us to Love As He Had Loved

The description of life abundant that Jesus Christ offers those who follow Him, requires us to act as He showed us how to live. It is the only way to put the fears of being used, abused, or neglected to rest.   This Christ-like love by her husband is the only way to relieve the grip of the fear and its possibilities.  Even a chaotic world can seem tolerable when our hearts and minds are at rest.  We can endure the risks if we can see the safety of Christ-like love that will carry us through.  There is a very good reason that many men who have pledged this kind of rock-solid commitment are now called “Promise Keepers”.

Nothing Short of a Christ-Like Love Will Result in a Joyful Marriage

If we would find this attitude of respect and commitment of men toward their wives, female co-workers, and even employees, things would radically change.  We would see a profound, positive impact on the women with whom they live and work. Even in our work-a-day world, the sincerity of our attitudes toward one another relieves tension and stress unbelievably.  The truth of the Bible’s claim becomes undeniable when we see what happens to society when it is not taken to heart.

Photo credit: PinkSherbert Photography licensed under Creative Commons

Wives-What wakes you up in the middle of the night? from PastorBobDouglas on Vimeo.

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