Conflict Management Archives

Freedom from Extortion in Your Marriage

Rule #1: I love you. I will always love you. You are my husband/wife. I have pledged myself to help you, support you, and care for you. I’m not going to stop taking care of you.

A Good Fight is more than just screaming

Most arguments begin when someone really wants something that they are not getting!  The Bible explains it this way:

“What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you?
You want something, but don’t get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God.
When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with the wrong motives.”
(James 4:1-2)

Most normal people read those words and are shocked to think that the writer would think they would kill someone over blocked desires!  And they would never think that simply wanting something would be sin like “coveting”.  Besides, what does “asking God for what I want” have to do with my marriage relationship?  Just being married means I should be getting what is coming to me as a marriage partner.  Right?  It is only right for me to expect to be getting what I want out of the relationship!
And thus it starts.

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Do You Feel Trapped?

If you are feeling trapped in a very bad place we can help you.

We will show the right way to handle conflict in your marriage!

We call it the Ten Rules to a Good Fight.  You can read the Ten Rules to a Good Fight in a few minutes but you will not understand what they can do to transform your relationship with just a brief reading.  As I start teaching this lesson, I always poke fun at those taking the lesson.  I truthfully tell them that there will be “test” at some later session where I will find out how well they learned the lesson of the Ten Rules to a Good Fight.  I have a habit of getting couples into a fight on the last session, just to see how they handle it.  I warn everyone from the beginning that I will do this and I’m pretty good at finding those “buttons” to push to get things started.  And then we laugh at ourselves and get to work on taking the next step. Read the rest of this entry