Conflict is as much a part of married life as breathing is to our physical bodies. In marriage we usually underestimate how different we really are from each other. In these lessons you will learn that our differences are massive but never hopeless. Each husband and wife brings the same kinds of issues to the […]
Rule #10: I love you enough to stop when either one of us calls for a halt. Not every issue has to be solved in one session. In fact, few ever are. We slowly change to accommodate each other. In between discussions, Let There Be Peace. We are two different people with two different personalities. […]
Rule #9: I love you enough to forgive and forget all wrongs. The healing of all conflicts really lies with the asking for and the offering of forgiveness. We can in love see the sinful side of each other and continue to love. This is only possible because we forgive and forget. (Forgetting is defined […]
Rule #8: I love you enough to actively question and search for what you need. We often cover our deepest problems with a smoke screen of superficial complaints or issues. We can argue all day and make NO progress if we are not really dealing with the honest issues. Ephesians 4:15 says we are to […]
Rule #7: I love you enough to really listen to your words. Try playing “I bet you can’t repeat what I just said”. When we listen, not just hear, conflicts are seldom as emotional. Honest listening often brings out honest answers. There are few greater proofs of genuine love and concern for each other than […]
Rule #6: I love you enough to stick to the subject. There are often at least two arguments going at once. Too many issues on the table at one time, leads to frustration not a solution. Stick to one subject at a time. One of the frustrations of marital conflict is the number of times […]
Rule #5: I love you enough to set a time to talk. DO NOT strike when your partner is unprepared. You must give your partner a chance to get ready, “cool, calm, and collected”. Don’t continue if you are caught off guard or are distracted. Both persons should feel rested (not late at night) wide […]
Rule#4: I love you too much to open you to public ridicule. We must keep our discussion “within limits”. There will always be people we can turn to for help. But, to speak out in public about personal conflicts or disagreements will open our most personal feelings and thoughts to everybody. Public humiliation is a […]
Rule #3: I love you too much to harm you. We are all vulnerable to severe harm on certain issues. They include past mistakes, sensitivities, insecurities, fears or guilt. I won’t subject you to harm by raising these things. It seems almost too simple; “Don’t hurt each other”. But when the tempers flare and the […]
Rule #2. I love you just the way you are. Some things CAN’T be changed. Some things you couldn’t change. I won’t ask you to change these. Backgrounds of family life or our “walk of faith”, personality, values, or Gifts that God has blessed us with… are most difficult to change. We just won’t argue […]
Rule #1: I love you. I will always love you. You are my husband/wife. I have pledged myself to help you, support you, and care for you. I’m not going to stop taking care of you. Most arguments begin when someone really wants something that they are not getting! The Bible explains it this way: […]
If you are feeling trapped in a very bad place we can help you. We will show the right way to handle conflict in your marriage! We call it the Ten Rules to a Good Fight. You can read the Ten Rules to a Good Fight in a few minutes but you will not understand […]