Rule #10: I love you enough to stop when either one of us calls for a halt. Not every issue has to be solved in one session. In fact, few ever are. We slowly change to accommodate each other. In between discussions, Let There Be Peace. We are two different people with two different personalities. […]
Rule #9: I love you enough to forgive and forget all wrongs. The healing of all conflicts really lies with the asking for and the offering of forgiveness. We can in love see the sinful side of each other and continue to love. This is only possible because we forgive and forget. (Forgetting is defined […]
Rule #8: I love you enough to actively question and search for what you need. We often cover our deepest problems with a smoke screen of superficial complaints or issues. We can argue all day and make NO progress if we are not really dealing with the honest issues. Ephesians 4:15 says we are to […]
Rule #7: I love you enough to really listen to your words. Try playing “I bet you can’t repeat what I just said”. When we listen, not just hear, conflicts are seldom as emotional. Honest listening often brings out honest answers. There are few greater proofs of genuine love and concern for each other than […]
Rule #6: I love you enough to stick to the subject. There are often at least two arguments going at once. Too many issues on the table at one time, leads to frustration not a solution. Stick to one subject at a time. One of the frustrations of marital conflict is the number of times […]
Rule #5: I love you enough to set a time to talk. DO NOT strike when your partner is unprepared. You must give your partner a chance to get ready, “cool, calm, and collected”. Don’t continue if you are caught off guard or are distracted. Both persons should feel rested (not late at night) wide […]
The greatest fear in the heart of a man is the fear of failure; the fear of being unworthy of respect or approval. This video describes how a man’s Greatest Fear can be calmed by the love and respect of his wife. Men-What are you afraid of? from PastorBobDouglas on Vimeo.
Rule#4: I love you too much to open you to public ridicule. We must keep our discussion “within limits”. There will always be people we can turn to for help. But, to speak out in public about personal conflicts or disagreements will open our most personal feelings and thoughts to everybody. Public humiliation is a […]
Rule #3: I love you too much to harm you. We are all vulnerable to severe harm on certain issues. They include past mistakes, sensitivities, insecurities, fears or guilt. I won’t subject you to harm by raising these things. It seems almost too simple; “Don’t hurt each other”. But when the tempers flare and the […]
This is an unpleasant topic for everyone concerned. Some people hurt other people. Sometimes this happens unintentionally and other times it is done will full knowledge and intent. A Social Contract When I drive my car, I acknowledge and accept a “social contract” that I will abide by the laws, the rules of the road […]
The Bible says in the fifth chapter of Ephesians that the Greatest Fear of women is that they will be left alone and unloved….rejected. This can take several forms. This fear can be that the woman remains married but will be ignored or isolated. In its worst form of her fear, she will be used, […]
The Bible (Ephesians 5:33) points out the greatest need in the heart of a man is the fear of being unworthy of respect or approval. In common terms, we would say that man’s deepest fear would be a fear of failure, fear of accomplishing nothing, fear of not measuring up, or a fear that no […]
The Greatest Fear of Women and the Greatest Fear of Men The Bible tells us that there are deep, abiding fears with each person. They were created inside of each of us to help us become loving partners. These are not weaknesses or character flaws that must be ignored, denied or covered up. They are […]
Rule #2. I love you just the way you are. Some things CAN’T be changed. Some things you couldn’t change. I won’t ask you to change these. Backgrounds of family life or our “walk of faith”, personality, values, or Gifts that God has blessed us with… are most difficult to change. We just won’t argue […]
Rule #1: I love you. I will always love you. You are my husband/wife. I have pledged myself to help you, support you, and care for you. I’m not going to stop taking care of you. Most arguments begin when someone really wants something that they are not getting! The Bible explains it this way: […]
If you are feeling trapped in a very bad place we can help you. We will show the right way to handle conflict in your marriage! We call it the Ten Rules to a Good Fight. You can read the Ten Rules to a Good Fight in a few minutes but you will not understand […]